The Girl Who Everyone Wants To Marry, But No One Actually Dates

I have been given this title and it hurts sometimes, and this helps.

Thought Catalog

Brittani LepleyBrittani Lepley

You do the sleepovers. You meet the families, the best friends. You get invited to the weddings, the Christmas dinners, road trips to the Cape to visit the siblings. You’ve been in their house. You know the way they take their coffee, all their favorite films, the times they’ve eaten in a day, and how they articulate their words. And you’ve never had to ask. You know their finest strengths and lowest weaknesses, where they stash their cash, what’s in their will, and the time they were born.

They tell you everything. Who they’ve hurt and who’s hurt them. What they see when they look in the mirror. How many kids they’d like to have and what they’d name them. The things that make them tick and how they are in bed. Their passions. You talk about the past and the future, the wills and will nots. Dreams…

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I’m posting this with a picture of my dog because I really miss her

I said I was going to post every day, even if I don’t have anything to say.
So. Today was a good day. I babysat and went to classes and finished work and had a few too many cups of coffee and a donut and it was a good day. I started my book and I hammocked outside with two of my best friends, because it was 75 degrees in mid November. I don’t have anything serious to talk about because I don’t think I can do that right now, my day and night, in spite of being so good, took a turn for the emotional.

I am really struggling with some stuff right now, as I said yesterday, and I’m going to talk about it when I can and when I’m ready. Right now, though, I would really appreciate prayer. For peace and wisdom and to calm down and to love myself and to remember all the things I’ve been forgetting lately and for so much more.

I hope you have a beautiful day tomorrow,
Alexandria (and Sadie)

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disclaimer: this post is not going to be well-written or sound very nice, but it’s all of my thoughts and goals right now

you could say I’m in a transition period of sorts. I’ve been having a bit of a hard time lately: I’ve been getting sad for no reason, had a night where everything made me want to cry, and some days I simply want to lie in bed and not think at all. I’m not depressed, no. life is beautiful and I love every day and I am surrounded by people who make me so, so thankful.
however, I’m beginning to think that this semester I’ve begun to lose myself a bit. if you follow me, you’ll notice that my posts have been nonexistent since the beginning of the semester, so no writing or any way of getting out my thoughts. I haven’t read a book for fun since the year started. I don’t take time to myself, sing for fun, run, or do any of the little things that I think make me, ME.

so, two nights in a row of tears and I decided that this needed to end. I am going to stop focusing on things around me: friends changing, relationships changing, grades, roommates, family, boys, any of the noise around me. I am, however, going to do what I love. I went to the library and got a few books, the first one that I am starting tomorrow and will be writing about on here. I am going to write everything I want to on this website and not hold things back because when I do that, the tears flow. I’m going to bring my Bible back out more often, I’m going to sing and dance and I am going to give lots of hugs and watch netflix and spend hours looking at pointless things and stop worrying about what others think!
it’s gonna be great and I hope you would like to follow along.

in closing, I promise to write this week about the book I am reading and a bit more about this transition period i mentioned. it’s pretty interesting and feedback, prayers, or just acknowledgement (so I know I’m not alone in all this crap) would be so appreciated.

I need to sleep now.
thank you for reading my word vomit I promise not all posts will be like this,
alexandria

For when you want to change your life

One of my best friends had a favorite thing to say on empty days my freshman year. You know, the ones when your school work isn’t waiting and your time is free? The best days. “The world is our oyster!” she would shout with a large smile on her face.
I want to be that person to you and to myself. THE WORLD IS YOUR OYSTER!! What do you want to be? What do you want to do? What do you want to change? Is it your appearance? Is it your temperament? Is it your job or your goals? Take ahold of that thing and do it. Stop making excuses. I recently read an article that asked the question, “what is the root cause to everything you do?” What is it? Think hard. Once you have it, DO IT. And don’t devote your time and dreams to something that isn’t truly worthy.
The world is your oyster, so do more of what makes you happy. I have that phrase hanging from my rearview mirror and every day it’s a beautiful reminder. I am a person who struggles with saying no to people, so I put myself in situations that I don’t wish to be a part of. Did I truly wish to do half of the things I have done in the last five years? No. Did I get joy from those things? No, again. So change the little things too. Make an end goal and work every day towards that, but also make the little, every day tasks magnificent. Fill your life with activities that bring yourself joy and help give joy to those around you. Don’t do things to please others. Be so happy with what you do that your happiness pleases people.

Be happy with who you are and do not grumble about the things that you can change. The world is your oyster.

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It’s the last day of my freshman year,

It's the last day of my freshman year,

And I’m sitting in my dorm room by myself, watching Netflix for the first time in a while and attempting to pack up my things. This year, I’ve grown a lot. There are so many things about myself that I have realized and I have tried my best to become better. I’ve learned so much from other people and I think that I am a completely different person than I was when I first came to college.

The people that I met have changed my life the most. Each person I’ve gotten close to has taught me something I never knew, or helped make who I am right now. These people are the highlight of my freshman year.

A list of things that confuse and bother me

  1. Boys that give compliments so easily that you never know if they genuinely mean what they are saying
  2. Sixty second snapchat stories
  3. The fact that I’ve worked out two days in a row and still don’t have abs
  4. Friendships that end and then drift towards awkwardness
  5. Why don’t I have a relationship like in the book I just finished?
  6. People
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Update

Update

Both fish died. RIP Prince Ryan Gosling and Olaf. Two tragic deaths.
Also, being healthy is very hard. Especially at college, when Daniel makes the most delicious cookies ever and they’re always waiting on the way to the door. Why, Daniel?

But I can do better. We’ll see. Spring break is next week and I have nothing to do except for work out, eat(healthy), and watch Netflix.

You’ve been hoping that you could make it right, but the more you try the more you’re failing

I cannot fix everything.

I cannot fix everything.

I cannot fix everything.

I cannot control everything.

I cannot wish things into working in my favor.

I cannot assume that what I want will fall into place.

 

I can live my life in the best way possible and be the most wonderful kind of person I can be.

I can not try to be who I think people will like the most.

I can accept rough times and get past them. Learn, and move on.

Learn and move on.

Learn and move on.

This is what I can and cannot do.

Today I went to Younglife for the first time, had a marvelous smoothie, and bought a fish.

Younglife was great because I haven’t been spending much time with other Christians at my school lately. Well. Christians, yes, but not Christians who are as invested as I have been up until recently. I’ve missed that.

My smoothie was mocha madness and utterly amazing.

The fish is named Prince Ryan Gosling and my best friend’s is named Olaf. There’s a castle in their bowl.

I’m falling asleep right now so there’s no way I can write anything interesting tonight, but I wanted to write something since it’s my first time on. I really hope to actually write.

Happy Wednesday.